Songs that make her cry

She has left the mobile unlocked, the headphones connected to it. I know she would be back any moment, but I open the mobile and scan it for the Music app. I put on her headphones and choose a song from her recently played list.

I try to squeeze my eyes shut, just like her.

When she is sad, she won't talk to any person. She would calmly walk into the room, put on those headphones, swipe through her playlist, and choose a song.

Once the music starts playing, she would squeeze her eyes shut, and her body would shake from her silent sobs. She would keep tapping on the volume-up button probably till it reached its maximum.

Sometimes she would cover her face, and sometimes she would just put her forehead to the table edge.

She probably knew people saw her crying, but that never bothered her.

I wondered if she always had a song. For every situation, she was in.

As the song starts to play, I raise the volume, like how she would have done.

It starts to hurt my ear, but I keep going. Probably this hurt her less than her pain.

The music starts to fade as the verses become clearer.

I try to find what she would have seen behind her shut eyes when listening to this song.

I wish to discover the path she would have travelled in her mind and the scenes that made her sob.

I wonder what scares her, what haunts her, what makes her cry.

The path ahead is all misty and directionless.

I hear the lines and even understand them. But I don't think I can connect.

As the song keeps playing, I try to look around in my head to see if I can find her. Find where she gets lost while listening to this song.

And if I can bring her out of all the bad she sees.

But I don't find her.

The song comes to an end, and I open my eyes. I realise I had been frowning, and my eyes are teary. She stands in front of me, eyebrows raised, arms akimbo.

"I thought it made only me cry", she says with a smirk.