Home

It has been 19 years in this universe and it has taken me so long to realise that I need a house.

No, a home.

Home only for me.

I have to start to learn to build.

I have to start to build.

I had needed the shelter and protection all along, but I had conceived the need wrong.

I assumed it was my skin that was a mistake and I had spent years peeling it over and over again only to find the same me inside, burdened and bruised, illogically waiting to be peeled off again.

As I looked around I saw the debris of myself, shattered phases of me.

Though it has taken quite longer than it should have, I am happy I realised it now.

I need a home that protects me from the scorching anger of people, drenching worries of the world, windy humans who just pass by, hazy memories that haunt and cold hearts so inhuman.

I want a home that would accommodate only me.

A home unaffected by any of these natural phenomena that could keep my internal peace undisturbed.

I know it's going to be dark, suffocating, numb and lonely, but that's okay and I want it anyway. I know that would be easier to handle than the harsh worldly emotions.

I need to learn how to build one such home for me to live in peace.

Dear heart, make space for the home...

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"Happy Is He Who Learns To Bear What He Cannot Change"

-Friedrich Schiller

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It is not that simple to be unaffected by what is happening around us, especially when we are the center of our universe.

The attempt would demand time and patience.

But I believe it's worth a try.